For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf

This past Sunday I had the distinct opportunity to attend a showing of the play, "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf". The play is currently running in Atlanta at the 14th Street Playhouse. It's being produced by IKAM Productions (www.ikamproductions.com) and directed by Jasmine Guy. It's her directorial debut.

The play is awesome! For those of you who aren't familiar with it, "For Colored Girls...is a choreopoem written by Ntozake Shange. It's a combination of monologues and poems performed by 7 ladies that are dressed in the colors of the rainbow. The play started with the Lady in Orange (she is usually the Lady in Brown but Jasmine wanted to stay true to the rainbow) and then progressed through the Lady in Yellow, Lady in Blue, Lady in Purple, Lady in Red and Lady in Green. It was a beautiful display of sheer talent as the ladies recounted stories of different women at different ages in different cities. The play's purpose is to speak to the difficulties and happy times as experienced by the woman of color.

Some of the monologues were happy and reminiscent. Others were heart wrenching and painful, but all of them gave a wonderful snapshot into the lives of women of color. Although the play was written in 1974, it is still very applicable today. I heard my story in several of the monologues and I was brought to tears more than once. My favorite line in the play was "I found God in myself and I loved her fiercely". That line stuck with me and penetrated my soul.

If you ever get a chance to see this play, take it. Do not let it pass you by.

Until I saw the play, I never truly understood the title but now I do. For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rain is Enuf. The Rainbow is indeed enuf...don't ever forget that

Honesty is the best policy

Well if you've read about the escapades of the weekend barbecue that gave us the phrase of the day, "Have you sucked dick today?", then you remember that the guy who delivered the line was interested in me and we exchanged numbers. Well we had been texting back and forth since then and I could tell he's a nice guy. However, it was beginning to seem like he wasn't truly interested in getting to know me. But I wanted to have at least one extended phone conversation with him before I made a decision on him. Well we spoke briefly the other day and we talked about getting together.

He said that he wanted to see me, which for me is code for "I want you to come to my house". Since I'm not really looking to chill at anyone's house, I asked what would we do when we saw each other. He didn't really have a plan but he did make an annoying statement about me needing to be taken out to eat. I'm not trying to milk a guy's wallet and I hate being put in that box, especially when you haven't taken the time to really get to know me. Then he made a very telling statement about wanting to do something frugal. This told me that he didn't feel like he was financially able to really date.

I told him I was cool with whatever he decided. I really just wanted him to make a plan and then invite me along. Why oh Why do I have to force this guy to take the time to court me? Well our call ended because he had to do something. He promised to call me back but he didn't. The next day I got a text from him. This is basically what it said, "I like u, but I don't wanna waste your time. I'm not in a position to date. My intentions and desires are merely sexual..."

Oh boy...

So while I respect his honesty, I can't help but wonder if this is the status of dating right now. When we initially met, he mentioned not wanting to deal with women who treat him like a piece of meat. But he said that he was tired of dating people and waiting before he got physical with that person. He had apparently been doing that and it wasn't working for him so now he's focused on getting laid.

Interesting...

So now I'm back to square one as I work on reviving my dating life. I figured it would be an adventure and I was right. Stay tuned...

more weird craigslist stuff

Well since I am in between film/tv projects, I have been trolling craigslist for opportunities. In spite of the prevalence of scams and other various shady work at home opportunities, craigslist is a very viable means for finding opportunities. I have landed quite a few great ones on there, American Idol and Pioneer Marketing are two noteworthy ones to mention. Ok back to the story.

I have been writing ever since I could string two sentences together. As a kid in elementary school, I used to write these horror stories and pass them around to my friends to read. Everyone always really liked them so I continued to explore my writing skills. As I got older, I branched out from horror to poetry to drama to erotica. I have always enjoyed writing descriptively and using adjectives liberally. I used to read romance novels avidly as a kid and I loved the colorful language. However, I always found some of the novels a bit too lovey dovey for my taste. Then I stumbled across some books that were less romance centered and more about just sex. It was a lot like written porn. Those were just as colorful but in a more graphic way. I discovered that I preferred to explore the world in between those two, erotica.

I've been writing erotic stories and poetry for years so when I came across an add on craigslist inquiring about partnering with a writer on an erotic novel, I was interested. I sent an email inquiry and got a response. The response was "sure thing. may i ask first how old are you". I responded with my age and the fact that I've been writing erotic stories and poems for a few years. The follow up response was "interesting. would love to discuss with you in further detail via the phone. may i call you whats your number"

I responded with my business cell number and waited for the call. Not too much longer I got a call from a guy. Initially it was ok. I had a weird feeling but I stayed on the phone because he hadn't said anything crazy until he said..."You have a sexy voice. Do you think I have a sexy voice?"

Now I'm thinking, "Oh Lord...what did I sign up for?" So I tell him that he sounds ok and he seemed disappointed that I didn't think he had a sexy voice. Then he starts asking me things about my fantasies and if I had done all of the things that I've written about. Now I'm thinking..."WTF?" Then here comes the kicker...he says that in order for us to be able to work together we should have phone sex and then write about it. Apparently he wants to develop this sexually tense relationship with someone and write about their sexual experiences with each other. So now I'm disturbed and uncomfortable when he says he has to go because he has another call. I'm relieved at the reprieve and make a mental note not to answer any more calls with his number, which showed up "Restricted".

Of course I did get another "Restricted" call later that day, which was ignored. Then I decided to be a bigger person and send him an email which said "Thanks for taking the time to speak with me about your idea for an erotic novel. However, I don't think that we work in similar ways when it comes to writing. I don't think you have to experience the things you write about to be a good novel and you appear to think the opposite. Good luck with your quest for an "expert writer" to teach you about writing erotica."

Goodness...when did it become ok to use the craigslist job ads as a way to find strangers to have sexual encounters with?

Weird Craigslist Ads

I was browsing Craigslist looking for work. In spite of the potentially scary nature of some of the ads, I have actually found some great legitimate opportunities on there. So I tend to scan it daily, especially when I'm actively looking for work. Well this evening I was doing my Sunday browse and I came across two interesting ads. Enjoy!

Ad #1

Female Tour Guide (City of Atlanta)

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Will be in Atlanta next weekend, looking for hopefully hott! guide to show us the city nite life. All expenses paid for next friday night and saturday, leaving sunday. Must be exceptional looking and comfortable in a short skirt. Pay is $1000.00. Please send picture or video if available. Thanks so much.Ad #2

Writer Wants Literary Friend to Attend Events (all GA)

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Simple: I'm a writer who wants a cool person to attend literary events with. (Such as the DBF, writers' conferences, and those things the Margaret Mitchell House is always having.) I find it easier to network with a wing-person, and so might you... we can avoid those nobody's-talking-to-me moments and probably have a much better time together than we would alone.

Makes no difference to me if you're male, female, gay, straight, black, white, whatever. Well, that's a lie... actually a nice white gay man would be awesome, but if you're something other than that, contact me anyway! I'll be open-minded! If anything I'd say please do not be a PTA mom who has written a Christian romance, and please do not be one birthday away from the nursing home.

I myself am a MWF, 43, conservative looking (meaning no tats, piercings, etc.). I live in an unfortunate suburb outside the perimeter. I'm short and chubby, so if you're too sexy to be seen with a fat person I guess I'll just have to miss out on you. However, to make up for my detriments, you may find that I am fairly well connected in the world of Southern lit.

Please be ready to drink, cuss, and bond with me over snarky criticisms of anybody who's more attractive and successful than we are.


Really?

Saturday adventures

Wow...today was an interesting day. What started off as a typical Saturday with me going jogging first thing in the morning and then running some errands, turned into quite an adventure.

Ok, let me start from the beginning.

I woke up this morning and got dressed to go for a jog. I met a friend of mine who has recently started working out and he attempted to join me on my run. He walked a lot but felt better in the end, even though he disliked me for making him come out. After the run, I hit the ground running. I had to run my typical Saturday errands so I did those.

Earlier in the week, my friend had forwarded me an invite to a bbq that was being hosted by a graduate chapter of Omega Psi Phi. A co-worker of hers had invited her. Since I've decided that I'm going to be more open to meeting guys and dating, I was interested in going. But before we went, we decided to take a field trip to this store called Aphrodite's Toybox. You should check it out the next time you're in Atlanta or if you already live here. www.aphroditestoybox.com

That was an interesting hour or so and afterwards we were hungry so we went to eat at this great restaurant called Noodle. As we were talking, I shared with my friends that I wanted to start dating more and am open to being set up. This cemented us actually going to the bbq since there would definitely be guys there.

I was nervous since with graduate chapters the age demographic can vary widely but I was open so we hit the road and headed to the bbq. Well I didn't think by hitting the road we would be going on a freakin road trip. If you are familiar with Atlanta, you know that it's possible to drive for an hour and still be in the metro Atlanta area. Well we managed to almost do just that. Once we exited the expressway, we ended up on this long ass road that at one point was just trees. There were no lights, houses or even cars going by. We got nervous so we stopped at this gas station that looked like something out of a horror movie and asked this guy where the park was. He tells us "It's right there," and points. "You go through that stop sign and it's five seconds away."

We had to laugh because after the extended journey we took out to what I like to call West Hell, by the time we stopped to ask directions (because that was the ONLY gas station around), we were right there. So we headed over and as we pulled up and got out of the car, I was pleasantly surprised. There was a group of nice looking guys who looked to be in our age group. So we walk up and since it's so late, we are the only ladies in a crowd of gentlemen. This is definitely not a problem for me and my friends, so we walk on over.

One of the first things we notice is a big grill set up with some great smelling smoke coming out. The gentleman that had invited us offered us some chicken. We politely declined. We were offered chicken two more times and since it smelled so good, me and my friend decided to go ahead and sample it. That was some good chicken! Plus there was some sauce on it that made it taste even better. I had four pieces!

So we are all engaged in conversations with different people. The mingle factor was wonderful. I met a really nice guy that I hope calls me soon so we can hang out. He was a funny guy. He was telling people that we were girlfriend and boyfriend but it was kind of cute. We had some purple kool aid with liquor in it and then one guy walked over with this silver pouch and offered us some wine. It was awesome! I got some of the wine and it was actually really good. Since we got there so late, the guys were already packing things up so we got ready to go to a block party. We were about to pull out when the guy that I'd been talking to walked over to the car we were in. He had mentioned wanting something to drink because he was very thirsty. My friend had a bottle of ginger ale in her car. When he leaned into the window, he asked about the ginger ale. She said that it was hers and he asked if he could have it. She hesitated and he asked. "Have you sucked dick today?" This question was asked with the same expression that someone would have when asking "Have you gone to the store today?"

We laughed so hard! It was crazy that he was able to ask that kind of a question with a completely straight face. Then he waited patiently for the answer so that he could determine if he could have some of her ginger ale.

We headed over to the block party, which got even more interesting. This block party was really a party in the parking lot of this Jamaican restaurant (shack). There was a dj and a few coolers with "beverages" in it. When we walked up, there were guys standing around. We were asked for hugs and when I hugged one of the guys, it was the typical half hug I give people who are strangers. He says to me. "I want a two titty hug." Then he proceeds to hug me again including both of my boobs. By this point, I couldn't help but laugh and we headed over to the "dance area".

We didn't stay long because it was just too much and we were getting tired. We said goodbye to the gentleman that had invited us and headed back to our cars. As we were driving on the expressway and almost to our cars, we ran across some random debris on the expressway. That was it for us and we were happy to get to our cars and head home.

Remember. The question for the day is, "Have you sucked dick today?" Make sure you ask this of anyone who's drink you may want to sample. It apparently only counts for the day you are in. If they've done it the day before or a less than a week prior, it's fine. Feel free to drink their drink with a clear conscience.

Draining love...

I was watching Keri Hilson's new video, "Energy" and it took me back to a few of my past relationships. If you ever feel like a relationship or "situation" is draining you more than it's uplifting you, walk away. I know, I know. That's much easier said than done but it's so important. Here is the video. Enjoy!



PS: Keri looks AWESOME in this video.

Getting my swagger back...is hard work

As I said in the previous post, this has been an interesting year for me. There has been virtually no debauchery and at this point I'm working on getting my swagger back.

Earlier this year, I realized that I hadn't met anyone or been on a date in quite some time. Now I understand that people go through droughts, but how the hell do you go through a drought unintentionally without even realizing it? Once I realized I was in a drought, I began work to get out of it.

A break through came in the form of a random homeless guy. While I was working on the show that has kept me hella busy since February (Hell Date Season 2), a homeless guy approached my car. I was braced for the offer to wash my car or the request for "spare change" but I got something different. He rolled up on my car and said "You're pretty. If you want to come find me, I'll be under this tree." LOL! I couldn't believe this dude tried to have me come check him out under his tree.

But swag is swag. So that exchange put me on the path to getting back in the game. I had one hiccup with a gentleman that seemed to want to get in the game but then fumbled at the last minute. Still bewildered about that one but I press on. I have a plan to get back in the game but more about that later. Stay tuned...