more weird craigslist stuff

Well since I am in between film/tv projects, I have been trolling craigslist for opportunities. In spite of the prevalence of scams and other various shady work at home opportunities, craigslist is a very viable means for finding opportunities. I have landed quite a few great ones on there, American Idol and Pioneer Marketing are two noteworthy ones to mention. Ok back to the story.

I have been writing ever since I could string two sentences together. As a kid in elementary school, I used to write these horror stories and pass them around to my friends to read. Everyone always really liked them so I continued to explore my writing skills. As I got older, I branched out from horror to poetry to drama to erotica. I have always enjoyed writing descriptively and using adjectives liberally. I used to read romance novels avidly as a kid and I loved the colorful language. However, I always found some of the novels a bit too lovey dovey for my taste. Then I stumbled across some books that were less romance centered and more about just sex. It was a lot like written porn. Those were just as colorful but in a more graphic way. I discovered that I preferred to explore the world in between those two, erotica.

I've been writing erotic stories and poetry for years so when I came across an add on craigslist inquiring about partnering with a writer on an erotic novel, I was interested. I sent an email inquiry and got a response. The response was "sure thing. may i ask first how old are you". I responded with my age and the fact that I've been writing erotic stories and poems for a few years. The follow up response was "interesting. would love to discuss with you in further detail via the phone. may i call you whats your number"

I responded with my business cell number and waited for the call. Not too much longer I got a call from a guy. Initially it was ok. I had a weird feeling but I stayed on the phone because he hadn't said anything crazy until he said..."You have a sexy voice. Do you think I have a sexy voice?"

Now I'm thinking, "Oh Lord...what did I sign up for?" So I tell him that he sounds ok and he seemed disappointed that I didn't think he had a sexy voice. Then he starts asking me things about my fantasies and if I had done all of the things that I've written about. Now I'm thinking..."WTF?" Then here comes the kicker...he says that in order for us to be able to work together we should have phone sex and then write about it. Apparently he wants to develop this sexually tense relationship with someone and write about their sexual experiences with each other. So now I'm disturbed and uncomfortable when he says he has to go because he has another call. I'm relieved at the reprieve and make a mental note not to answer any more calls with his number, which showed up "Restricted".

Of course I did get another "Restricted" call later that day, which was ignored. Then I decided to be a bigger person and send him an email which said "Thanks for taking the time to speak with me about your idea for an erotic novel. However, I don't think that we work in similar ways when it comes to writing. I don't think you have to experience the things you write about to be a good novel and you appear to think the opposite. Good luck with your quest for an "expert writer" to teach you about writing erotica."

Goodness...when did it become ok to use the craigslist job ads as a way to find strangers to have sexual encounters with?

Weird Craigslist Ads

I was browsing Craigslist looking for work. In spite of the potentially scary nature of some of the ads, I have actually found some great legitimate opportunities on there. So I tend to scan it daily, especially when I'm actively looking for work. Well this evening I was doing my Sunday browse and I came across two interesting ads. Enjoy!

Ad #1

Female Tour Guide (City of Atlanta)

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Will be in Atlanta next weekend, looking for hopefully hott! guide to show us the city nite life. All expenses paid for next friday night and saturday, leaving sunday. Must be exceptional looking and comfortable in a short skirt. Pay is $1000.00. Please send picture or video if available. Thanks so much.Ad #2

Writer Wants Literary Friend to Attend Events (all GA)

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Simple: I'm a writer who wants a cool person to attend literary events with. (Such as the DBF, writers' conferences, and those things the Margaret Mitchell House is always having.) I find it easier to network with a wing-person, and so might you... we can avoid those nobody's-talking-to-me moments and probably have a much better time together than we would alone.

Makes no difference to me if you're male, female, gay, straight, black, white, whatever. Well, that's a lie... actually a nice white gay man would be awesome, but if you're something other than that, contact me anyway! I'll be open-minded! If anything I'd say please do not be a PTA mom who has written a Christian romance, and please do not be one birthday away from the nursing home.

I myself am a MWF, 43, conservative looking (meaning no tats, piercings, etc.). I live in an unfortunate suburb outside the perimeter. I'm short and chubby, so if you're too sexy to be seen with a fat person I guess I'll just have to miss out on you. However, to make up for my detriments, you may find that I am fairly well connected in the world of Southern lit.

Please be ready to drink, cuss, and bond with me over snarky criticisms of anybody who's more attractive and successful than we are.


Really?